Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
