My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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