That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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