we made out on top of his cat.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
