i already hear my dad disowning me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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