:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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