How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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