Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
