fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
