I hate all girls vehemently.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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