I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
