so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She announced her abortion via fbk
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
