The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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