I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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