Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
