Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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