he shaved USA in his pubs
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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