The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize