So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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