She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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