what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
