For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
