took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize