haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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