I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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