yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
