brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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