Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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