Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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