The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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