it was like eating out sand paper
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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