I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
