Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize