You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
