it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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