My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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