you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize