WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
