if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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