Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
