At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
