Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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