Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
