Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She said her name was "party"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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