you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
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im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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