I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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