evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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