careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
