I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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