Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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