Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
