I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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