cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize