I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
