OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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