Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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