so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
