if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
