She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
