she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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